Last Kiss
by Lilmissclumsyx
Summary: A songfic as Lily looks back to the 31st of October when she lost what she misses the most. R


Last kiss

**I still remember the look on your face  
Been through the darkness at 1:58**

The look on your face when you heard him come through the door. It broke my heart to see you so scared; I wish I could hold you and forget we are here. It must have been the scariest Halloween we had together because I have nightmares all the time.

**The words that you whispered for just us to know  
You told me you loved me so why did you go away, go away**

"Lily! It's him! Take Harry and run!"

"I can't leave you James!"

"I will hold him off! I love you Lily Potter more than anything. Save our baby boy."

Those were our last words and every step up the stairs I ran seemed like a part of my heart crumbled into tiny pieces.

When your yell echoed through the house a part of me died with you, if it wasn't for Harry I am not sure I could have Apparated out of that house.

**I do recall now the smell of the rain  
Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the train**

**That July 9th the beat of your heart  
It jumps through your shirt, I can still feel your arms**

It was the summer after our seventh year, I remember I had to go home and collect my things from my dead parent's house. I was in pieces all the way to your house but when I ran of the train into the rain and saw you. Everything seemed to fall into place.

You hugged me tightly and told me everything would be okay. I wish you could now.

**But now I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes  
All that I know is I don't know  
How to be something you miss**

I have kept all your clothes I could not bare to throw them out. Your boxers and old quidditch captain top have become my pyjamas. They smell like you and I can't sleep without them. I miss you so much it hurts more than anything. It feels like I have a constant ache.

**Never thought we'd have a last kiss  
Never imagined we'd end like this  
Your name, forever the name on my lips**

Our last kiss was filled with so much love and loss it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. A held you so tight before I climbed the stairs to Harry. I never imagined that we would end like this, we were so amazing together Jamie, what happened?

**I do remember  
The swing in your step  
The life of the party, you're showing off again  
And I roll my eyes and then  
You pull me in  
I'm not much for dancing  
But for you I did**

It was in our seventh year and you won Gryffindor the quidditch cup. There was a huge party for everyone in Gryffindor that night, in the common room. You were dancing with Sirius in the middle off the room; you always loved being the centre of attention.

You were making everyone laugh as you and Sirius danced and I rolled my eyes laughing with Alice. Then you saw me and you jumped off the table, the crowd parted and you walked towards me with your cheeky grin.

You held out you hand and I took it shaking my head and giggling. You knew I hated dancing but you pulled me in anyway. I put my head on your shoulder and everyone else seemed to disappear. I only danced for you.

**Because I love your handshake**

**Meeting my father**

It was in our sixth year we got together. I remember you met my parents at Christmas; you were so nervous it made me laugh. You got on well with them and they loved you like a son.

**I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets**

**How you'd kiss me when I was in the middle**

**Of saying something**

**There's not a day I don't miss those**

**Rude interruptions**

Whenever you walked you put your hands in your pocket, or more often then not, mine. You never cared that Sirius mocked of you, I would do anything to feel you hands in my pockets now.

If we argued about something small and silly you would kiss me when I was in the middle of talking and you told me you loved me. That often stopped our silly squabbles. I catch myself when ever I nag at Harry when it doesn't matter, and I think of the time you stopped me. I wish you could stop me now.

**So I'll watch your life in pictures**

**Like I used to watch you sleep**

**And I feel you forget me**

**Like I used to feel you breathe**

Now Harry is five and I show him all the scrapbooks we made, it's like you life in pictures. He knows who you are and we will never forget. Because you are the reason we are here today.

I hope that you don't forget us because I know I could forget you. Everything reminds me of you and living without you is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But I have to. For Harry.

**And I'll keep up with our old friends**

**just to ask them how you are**

**hope it's nice where you are**

Sirius and Remus are always around. It hit them so hard when you died I don't think they will ever recover. I know it's hard to believe but Sirius has lost his spark. Which makes me want to cry. They are both amazing Uncles to Harry; he is the light in our darkness. I could not do any of this without him.

It doesn't feel like you are dead, it just feels like you are somewhere else. I have to stop myself from asking Sirius and Remus how you are, because I forget they don't know either.

**And I hope the sun shines**

**and it's a beautiful day**

**and reminds you**

**you wished you had stayed**

**you can plan for a change**

**in weather and time**

**but I never planned on**

**you changing your mind.**

I hope wherever you are you are happy, I hope that each day is beautiful like everyday I spent with you was. I love you James. Never forget that. The only thing I regret is that I stayed and you went to save Harry. I wish it was me instead of you. But I know we will be together again.


End file.
